The Interdimensional Dilemmas of IAN and Betty Read online

The Interdimensional Dilemmas of I.A.N. and Betty

  by D.R. Brooks

  Copyright 2015 D.R. Brooks

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  CHAPTER 1

  Betty straightened her blazer and decisively rapped on the door of an old Colonial in Upper ______.  Seeing the door was slightly ajar, she decided to let herself in.  Not far beyond the entrance lay a well-appointed dining room and there stood the man she had been communicating with for months.  He was standing over a Bigfoot; recently deceased.

  “IAN!  If I'd known you were calling me out to an active scene, I would've thought some warning was appropriate.” Betty chastened.

  A fine introduction, indeed.

  “You know, it's amazing how these beings shed.” The man said unaffectedly.

  "My point exactly! I wouldn't have worn my best trousers.”  She noticed his tailored suit still managed to look immaculate.

  Betty cautiously made her way over to the man and bent down.  She pulled out a hankie from her handbag and held it to her face.   The odor is...magnificent. Oh! My manners!”  She held out a hand. “Miss Betty Mortimer, pleased to make your acquaintance, finally.”

  “What?  Oh, yes, I forgot how important meeting someone in the flesh is to you people.  Never really saw what the big deal was, myself.   Well, when in Rome, I’m…what did you call me again?”

  “I took the liberty of referring to you as IAN in my head, after the subject of that paper I wrote, Intelligent Agent: Nameless.  The paper you first replied to, in which I posited that if my studies were correct, there must be an “Intelligent Agent” that is able to effect change within a Multiverse.  I was sure there must be some personality interfering with Catastrophic Transmorphisms, or ‘Bleeds’ between dimensions.  I tried to decipher your signature on the letters, but for all of me, it just looked like a strange scrawl. My age may be catching up to me, but every time I looked, it seemed to have changed slightly. But as my late husband used to say, ‘We all see what we want to see, except for those without proper vision care.”

  The man before her raised a finger as if in question, but seemed to change his mind. “IAN is as good a name as any.  Lord knows I have had worse.  IAN Bleeds at your service, Madame.”

  She took IAN's hand that he was holding at head-level and at a strange angle, bringing it down to the appropriate height, shaking it firmly.  Betty brought the hankie immediately back to mouth and nose.

  “What do we do from here? Has anyone notified the authorities? How much time do we have?”

  “I was hoping you could help me with that; traveling between dimensions being far less tiresome than trying to understand how it all works.”

  “Traveling?  We at least need a preliminary workup!”

  He turned back to the large furry body on the floor.  “Our friend should have shifted back already.”

  “Well then we better get down to business.  Have you taken the samples we discussed? Skin, blood, hair, saliva, any sort of ‘plasms’ that may be about?”

  “Sure. They're over there somewhere.”  He waved towards the large table.  “But make it fast, because once the shift occurs, they will be gone.”

  “Wh-, wh-, why is his skin bubbling!?!”

  She set down the vial of blood she had just picked up, a look of disgust on her face.

  “Looks like something inside him is trying to get out.”

  “As my late husband used to say...shit.”